What is Authentic Vulnerability, Surrender, Receptivity in Relation to the Beloved
In the tāntric relationship, to surrender means unconditional acceptance and total commitment. to the Beloved. The affirmation of surrender would go something like this: “I accept you, my divine Beloved, just as you are, and I surrender to you unconditionally.” Sounds pretty serious, doesn’t it? That’s because it is.
In a culture that conditions human beings to view everyone else as the enemy or a competitor, most men unnaturally find the thought of unconditional surrender to another man a terrifying and emasculating prospect. It doesn’t have to be that way. Surrender in a relationship doesn’t mean have to roll over and say: “You are my master. I give up. I’m your slave.” That may be surrender an S&M club, but while it may be configured as a mentor-disciple relationship, a homoerotic tāntric relationship is never a master-slave relationship. Surrender in a homoerotic tāntric relationship does mean letting go your prejudices, expectations, and preconceptions of what another person is or ought to be, while remaining devoted and committed to that man as a divine Lover.
Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s not about anxiety or disappointment. It is the birthplace of all that we long for and desire. It is the heart and center of all worthwhile human experience.
In a homoerotic tāntric relationship, you possess a compassionate receptiveness that enables you to perceive, experience, and accept your Tāntric Lover as he is and where he is in that moment. But in order to do so, you must first accept your own vulnerability, offer openness, empty the heart-mind, and make a place for a welcome level of vulnerability.
Deep inside, most men would like enjoy this delightful situation but they don’t dare; to the Western conditioned ego any thought of being that vulnerable to another man is too terrifying. He is conditioned to think: “I can’t risk letting go of any control I have and trusting him. I might get hurt, or he might take advantage of the situation.” So the looming question is, How can a man be certain he’s not losing control or surrendering to the wrong person?
My first question might be: What is this “control” you seem to think you have? It’s an illusion so just let it go. If you put yourself in a situation, why do you think it might turn bad? What is the wrong person?
Let me give you a couple of hints as to the possible answers to those three questions. First of all, you are not in control; you just think you are in control. The control thing exists only in your mind and it’s one way your ego gets to control you and play silly games. Once you get over your control dilemma, you can move on.
Read or download the entire article at: Vulnerability, Surrender, Receptivity and the Beloved.
Homoerotic Yogic Tantra & Masculine Intimacy 