Age-gap Relationships: The Best of Homoeroticism

ॐ नमः शिवाय Om Namah Shivaya |

Homoerotic Age-Gap Relationship

The Official Manual for Homoerotic Tantra:Mascul-IN-Touch℠

Image credit: Guadagnino, L. (2017). Call Me by Your Name. Sony Pictures Classics.

I chose the image of Elio and Oliver from the film Call Me By Your Name for several reasons: First, they exemplify contemporary attitudes towards homoerotic couples in cinema; second, Elio and Oliver are presented as an age-gap relationship; and third, the symbolism of the ancient arm being offered by Oliver to Elio might be interpreted as symbolic of Oliver’s offering Elio the legacy of Classical Pederasty. Two handsome but fragile men represent the entire population of men in age-gap relationships; they are beautiful men as metaphors of the beauty of men-who-love-men and enter into such a special and unique relationship. And finally, Oliver is holding an ancient artifact from the past, an older man extending an art object, the product of creativity or eros, to a younger man, his lover, Elio. The symbolism, as you will soon discover, is not lost on the homoerotic Hero-Warrior. DKT

Pederasty and Age-Gap Homoerotic Relationship

Guiding Principles in Homoerotic Tantra:Mascul-IN-Touch℠

Oṃ Asato Mā Sadgamaya[1]

ॐ असतो मा सद्गमय । तमसो मा ज्योतिर्गमय । मृत्योर्मा अमृतं गमय । ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॥

Oṃ Asato Mā Sad-Gamaya | Tamaso Mā Jyotir-Gamaya | Mṛtyor-Mā Amṛtam Gamaya | Om Shaantih Shaantih Shaantih ||

I. Introduction

One of the most damaging and devastating assaults on homoerotic men and masculinity in general is the toxic cultural conditioning and stereotyping relating to age-gap relationships. Ageism is a plague with no real good or benefit and we are all suffering as the result. Cultures and societies far more enlightened and aware than our own teach us an important lesson about the value of the age-gap relationship. As a psychospiritual mentor and preceptor, I am fortunate to come into contact with many different men and many different questions posed by men seeking deeper relationship with another man. I am truly grateful to those men who come forward with those questions, and ask for advice regarding their situations and how to proceed with their relationship work. Some of the questions are very relevant to homoerotic yogic Tantra (तन्त्र) and I usually discuss the question and my response for the benefit of other seekers and aspirants. One man, though not a confirmed seeker or aspirant but a regular follower, responded to one of my recent posts about daddy-son relationships along the lines of the Classical Greek erastes (ἐραστής, lover)—eromenos (ἐρώμενος, beloved) relationship. The Classical Greek institutionalized pederastic relationship between the older man and the younger man was institutionalized in Sparta and Athens, as well as in many other poleis (πόλεις, “cities”), and its purpose was fundamentally to train the younger man in ethics, physical development, and generally how to be an exemplary member of his community. While there was certainly an erotosensual aspect to the pederastic relationship it was not “officially” so but neither was it “officially” discouraged. In fact, erotosensual relationships between boys and boys and older men were highly likely given the fact that men were generally segregated from women, men trained athletically nude, and there was a general admiration of the male physique.

Homoerotic pederasty was not limited to the Classical Greeks, and ancient writers wrote of the libertine Celts, who would rather roll around on their animal-skin beds with two lads than with a woman. Historically, pederasty and homoerotic relationships were quite common in many cultures and continued to be throughout history, despite condemnation by leaders in the Judeo-Christian traditions, and thanks to academic hypocrisy. Before I begin, I would like my readers to bear in mind that the cultures I am citing as examples are not some obscure primitive forest-dweller folk but highly developed cultures — with the exception of the Celts —, which would easily put modern-day culture to shame in terms of awareness, consciousness, sense of duty, attunement with the inner self and awareness, and particularly in their mysticism and spirituality. Their priorities, in other words, were far different from today’s, and we would do ourselves a great favor if we were to learn to better appreciate what they still have to teach us.

II. Pederasty is not Pedophilia

A. Classical Greek Pederasty (παιδεραστής)[2]

I want to make perfectly clear from the outset that the erómenos (ἐρώμενος, beloved) of classical institutionalized pederasty was for the erastés (ἐραστής lover) a sacred love object and not a profane sex object.

Pederasty is a homoerotic attraction to adolescent men; pedophilia is a morbid sexual attraction to preadolescent boys. Pederasty is a bona fide cultural institution both historically and in contemporary cultures. Pederasty is a mutually beneficial relationship between an adult and an adolescent male. Pedophilia is a disordered psychological state of being sexually attracted to prepubescent boys. Pedophilia has many, many traumatic and long-term damaging effects on the children involved. Pederasty is not generally thought to have harmful effects if practiced ethically and with the limits of benefit to both men. The Greeks made an important distinction between the men in a pederastic relationship calling the older partner, erastes (ἐραστής, lover), the Inspirer, and the younger partner, the eromenos (ἐρώμενος, beloved), the Listener. This is a perfectly appropriate characterization of the relationship overall. If one considers the art of Classical Greece and the poleis, one can have no other impression than that the Greeks were proud of their pederasty and celebrated male-male relationships in society, military, literature, politics, and art.

Read the complete article at Age-gap Homoerotic Relationships

Reference Works

Ancient India didn’t think homosexuality was against nature
Cartographies of Desire : Male-Male Sexuality in Japanese Discourse, 1600-1950 (Gregory, Pflugfelder. Cartographies of Desire: Male-male Sexuality in Japanese Discourse, 1600-1950. University of California Press, 2000. Print.)
Gay Love Letters of a Samurai
Gender of Wakashu and the Grammar of Desire
Great Mirror of Male Love (Ihara, Saikaku, and Paul G. Schalow. The Great Mirror of Male Love. , Stanford University Press.1990. Print.)
Homosexuality and Civilization (Crompton, Louis. Homosexuality and Civilization. Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 2009. Internet resource.)
Homosexuality in the Japanese Buddhist Tradition
Last British Men Executed For Being Gay
Male Colors, The Construction of Homosexuality in Tokugawa Japan (Leupp, Gary P. Male Colors: The Construction of Homosexuality in Tokugawa Japan. Berkeley: University of California Press, 2011. Print.)
Male Homosexuality in India : A Close Reading of Kamasutra
Pederasty and Pedagogy in Archaic Greece (Percy, William A. Pederasty and Pedagogy in Archaic Greece. Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 1996. Print.)
Seven life lessons of chaos : spiritual wisdom from the science of change (Briggs, John, and F D. Peat. Seven Life Lessons of Chaos: Spiritual Wisdom from the Science of Change. Pymble, NSW: HarperCollins e-books, 2009. Internet resource.)
Seven life lessons of chaos : timeless wisdom of the science of change (Briggs, John, and F D. Peat. Seven Life (Lessons of Chaos: Timeless Wisdom of the Science of Change. Allen & Unwin, 1999. Print.)
Ten Things In Call Me By Your Name You May Have Missed
What does the Bible say about sex?

Table of Contents (Teaser)

I. Introduction 4 II. Pederasty is not Pedophilia 6

A. Classical Greek Pederasty (παιδεραστής) 6 B. Indic Pederasty 7 C. Pederasty in Japan: Samurai and their Lovers 8

Wakashudō: Samurai Pederasty 10

III. A Thorny Question 12 IV. Parent vs Intimate Partner 13 V. Pederasty & Pedagogy 13 VI. Ethical Considerations 15

Ahiṃsā (अहिंसा) – Do no harm. 15 Consent – Both men must be capable of voluntary consent. 16 Maturity – Physical, psychoemotional, and legal maturity must be present. 17 Components – The relationship must not be single-purpose or a means-to-an-end but must be wholesome and cultivate the well-being of both men. 18

VII. Relationships between Men of Different Ages 18

D. Daddy-Son Relationship 20 E. Generational Separation 20 F. Other Age-Gap Relationship 21 G. Time is a Bondage; Age is a Mental Obstacle 23

VIII. Sacred Relationship vs Casual Sex 24 IX. Conclusion 24 X. Epilog 26 XI. Reference Terminology 28 XII. Reference Works 33

Notes: [1] Meaning: Lead us from the unreal to the real / Lead us from darkness to light / Lead us from death to immortality / Aum peace, peace, peace! [2] Term originating from Greek παιδεραστία (paiderastía, “love of younger men”), from παιδεραστής (paiderastḗs, “pederast”), from παῖς (paîs, “son, young man”) + ἐραστής (erastḗs, “lover”), from ἔραμαι (éramai, “to lοve”). Homoerotic love, physically expressed or chaste intimacy, between an older man and a younger man, classically a man in late adolescence or early manhood.

Age-gap Relationships: The Best of Homoeroticism